A lump in my throat ;)

Just the thought of the holidays and especially Christmas can make me get all choked up inside! But one of the sweetest things to me is when my sweet husband does just the same thing, and then makes a joke about how he feels like he's "going to choke" or there's something stuck in his throat! Last week on the day after Thanksgiving, Clint and I snuck away for a couple of hours and went to a Christmas concert by the One Voice Children's Choir. We sat cuddled up next to each other and when it was over, we walked out together laughing and smiling about how much we felt like we were going to choke! Then last night as we were setting up our Christmas tree and listening to a very beautiful piano concert by Paul Cardall, Clint stopped what he was doing and took me by the hand and started dancing with me around the room and pointed to his neck because there was once again a big lump stuck in his throat! It was too cute!
Then , somehow the lump came back at the end of the night as we sat down together to read a Christmas story together with the kids. We have so many stories that we decided to read one again over breakfast this morning, and sure enough as we did, Clint advised me that it wasn't very wise to do that to him while he is eating because then FOR SURE he felt like he was going to choke!!! Oh my cute boy, I have such deep gratitude for you and all of the many times that you make me smile, shed a tear of joy, or even get caught choking from the big lump in my throat!!! :)

Special to me...

Heavenly Father is so good to me. Both in times of laughter and sorrow, there is always something good to be found from the hand of the Lord. Even though we will all miss my brother Kelly more than words can say, there is also a strength from love that can pull a family together, and miracles can happen~ these people in my life are so special to me...









My sweet parents have committed their lifetime to giving, serving, and loving each and every one of us kids! I have always admired their devotion to one another and it has been so precious for me to see the tenderness that they have for each other especially in times of need.










My beautiful "big" sisters ;)
Meloney~Andrea ~Felicia~Cynthia
I remember when I was a little girl, I would love to wake up early in the morning just to watch them get ready for school! It was so much fun for me to watch them curl their hair, put on their make-up, and wear their fancy clothes... It was such a treat for me to spend some time with all of us together again - laughing, crying, talking, and reminiscing... They will always be women that I look up to in my life...(even though I think I am taller than most of them now ;)









Then there is this really cute guy that always seems to find a way to make me feel the most special of all ;)...
He is the one that is the most special to me, and he really knows how to make me smile... (This was at the Red Rock Canyon just a few days before Kelly passed away.)









...and although it is hard to see at night, this is the Las Vegas Nevada Temple. Clint and I went here in the evening after spending the day out hiking. Whether close to home or far away, being able to attend the temple wherever we go is also something very special to me. I love to see beautiful things, and the temples are all very beautiful to me.








And how is this for a beautiful sight?! This was what I saw out on my morning run with the first official snowfall of the year! I really love and appreciate the beauty of nature, and the changing of the seasons is yet another thing that is special to me! I love it!

Goodbye for now brother...

On October 23rd my family and I were driving home from my brother-in-law Curt's mission homecoming. We were all laughing and having such a great time together when I received a devastating phone call that my brother Kelly had passed away. Shocked, upset, and in denial, I was frozen for the rest of the ride home wondering how my brother who had just turned 40 one week earlier could be gone? It was oh so sudden and much too soon and completely unexpected. You never expect that one day you will wake up and someone you love will be gone. But, after a funeral in Georgia, a memorial and burial here in Utah, spending precious time with family, and trying to accept his death, I have an even greater resolve to live everyday with an outpouring of love and with NO regrets.
Suffice it to say that family needs love. Family needs acceptance and forgiveness. Family needs commitment and unconditional love. We need each other through the good and bad, thick and thin, happy and sad, until the end. I love my family. I love my brother Kelly. He was a great person with a big smile and an even bigger heart. I will miss you Kelly, thanks for your laughs, your love, and your memories. I will cherish them always.

Words cannot express what I am feeling in my heart.
I have a vision of your laugh and then it mends a broken part.
I remember things you said; I remember your sweet smile,
Then the tears begin to flow ~ but only for a little while.

It’s just because I miss you, I can’t call you on the phone,
I can’t just drop by later thinking maybe you’ll be home.
It hurts to know you’re gone and that you won’t be coming back
My thoughts just seem to drift, I am distracted and off track.

You were a joy to everyone, a friend and someone who was real,
Knowing just when you should stand up tall, and when to bend and kneel.
There was happiness and laughter mixed with tears that fell like rain,
Moments when you were so proud and when you couldn't bear the pain.

I wish you could come back and hug me for a little while
Because if you were here with us this would no longer be a trial.
We could all just laugh together at the jokes that you would say
And we could go down to the park and watch the little kiddies play.

We would comment on the weather, reminisce and see the view,
We could go take in a movie, or hike up a mountain too.
We could go out running together, or eat big bowls of ice-cream!
Or we could sit and share our thoughts of things you dreamt of in your dream.

I know this all sounds selfish because I miss you oh so much!
But I know that healing time will soon extend a gentle touch.
I know I must be strong, have faith and soon will come a day,
When we all will be united and together we can stay.

But until then my dear brother I send my loving thoughts to you,
Through a laugh, a tear, or smile ~a message genuine and true.
I will not forget your spirit; I will not forget your heart,
You were a hero as my brother; I loved you from the very start.

Now will you do me one last favor from the heavens where you roam?
Would you simply be an instrument to guide us all back home?
We are on the path together; the directions are precise,
But at times we need reminded of the Savior’s sacrifice.

We need to be reminded how to give so selflessly,
And to reach out to each other and discern with clarity,
Of how we all should live and just where we want to be
Gathered in the mansions where we will glimpse eternity.

So Dear Kelly, big brother, I hope you somehow will know
That I’m doing my best to both hold on and let you go.
For as much as I miss you, I hold you closer than ever
With the hope for our family to be together forever.


By Susette Trickett
November3, 2011