Tomorrow marks the 2 year anniversary of my sweet friend Sheri Penrose's husband Dave's unexpected death. I feel strongly that I need to record some experiences, impressions, and feelings that I have had recently in helping to prepare a special gift for Sheri...
Shortly after Dave's passing, I felt strongly that a sketched portrait of Dave with the Savior would be a meaningful gift that Sheri would love and would bring peace and comfort to her in her life. So, through the help of a close friend, we were able to contact an artist who took on the job. Almost a year and a half later, the beautiful sketching was completed, framed, and ready for a special day when we could give it to Sheri, and it would hopefully have the impact that we had been praying it would. Through much prayer, thought, and planning, I along with 3 other anonymous individuals combined our resources and efforts to give this sweet gift...and after months of preparation, the time had finally come to give this gift to Sheri.
I talked to Sheri and told her that I really wanted to spend a day with her this week, knowing full well what this week represented for her. Monday the 25th of March was the last full day that Sheri ever spent with her husband before he had his problem. Tuesday the 26th was the day Dave went into the hospital never to walk out again. March 30th was the day he graduated from this life and stepped through the veil, leaving this mortality behind. Knowing that this time was very important to Sheri, I knew that it would be the perfect time to present this special gift to her. So, the day before I was to meet with Sheri, I pulled the framed picture from it's protected spot and got out my wrapping paper and began wrapping this gift, so that she wouldn't see it until I was absolutely ready for the perfect opportunity to give it to her. But, something very sacred and special happened. As I cleared off the entire table, and rolled out the wrapping paper I began feeling the spirit so strong. When I reached for the framed drawing I physically became weak. Not terribly weak, but a little like I do on a fast Sunday when I am feeling strong spiritually, but dependent upon the strength that comes greater than just my own. I paused as I slowly lifted the picture and began staring at it as I set it on the paper on the table...I felt something happen in the room and I felt like I was standing on holy ground. I felt as if the veil was so thin and I felt the room as if it were flooding with people...angels. Angels that I could not see from the other side of the veil. I instantly felt tears drip from my eyes and I had to stand up straight instead of leaning over the picture because I didn't want my tears to stain the paper or the frame. I stood there beside the table and cried for a minute feeling a rush of emotion from the spirit. I felt sadness and sorrow for the struggle that Sheri has been through...and then I felt a warm and loving approval for the kindness and love that I and others have been constantly giving to Sheri over these past 2 years...and then I felt an abundance of charity and love from Heavenly Father that what we were doing was good.
Then, as I felt this warmth and comfort from the spirit I regained my composure and reached for the paper to begin wrapping the picture. As I pulled the paper and covered the frame I had a very distinct vision in my mind of the hands of the people who were there wrapping the Savior's body in the white linens after his death and crucifixion. I actually felt like I was there...I felt a holy and sacred experience as I wrapped the picture of Dave with the Savior and saw in my mind the process of actually wrapping the Savior's broken body...
I instantly felt overcome with emotion and cried my tears again, but this time with so much love for my Savior and for His loving Atonement. Not only did He die for ME, but He died for Sheri and Dave and everyone who has lost someone, just so that they can be together again someday. I felt a new and strengthened amount of love for Jesus Christ and for my testimony of these things that I know...and for the gift and ability to be infused with so much love and charity, that I believe I have been able to see Sheri the way that Heavenly Father sees her. He is keenly aware of her and me, and all of us!!! And He loves me enough to give me sweet and sacred and special experiences like this, to show me and remind me just how special we all are, and how perfectly His Plan is for each and every individual. As I finished up wrapping the gift, I became very sure that this was indeed the perfect time to give Sheri this special gift.
I set the gift (along with the cardboard tube of additional prints from the artist for Sheri to share with her family) on the back seat in my car and went to pick up Sheri. She really wanted to take me to lunch. :) So we went to Zao Asian Cafe and had a delicious salad and great conversation. :) Little did we realize that we were together for almost 2 hours by the time we left the restaurant! (Time flies when you are having fun, right? ;) As we got into my car I told Sheri that I had this special gift for her and I wanted to give it to her somewhere that was private...I told her that we could go to my house, or her house, or sit in the parking lot of the temple...or we could go to the cemetery...She chose the cemetery. :)
We talked some more as we drove and then as we pulled into the drive of the cemetery I was happy to see the sun begin peaking out from behind the clouds. I could feel the warmth of the sun on my shoulders and it felt almost as warm as the feeling in my heart.
We pulled up to the spot next to Dave's head stone and parked the car. I reached into the back seat of my car and pulled out the wrapped gift...Sheri said, "Wow Susette, a picture!" Then she very carefully started unwrapping the gift being sure not to tear any of the paper. :) As Sheri began to reveal the picture that was inside, she turned it over and instantly began sobbing. As I looked over at her I held her arm and her shoulder and she stopped crying and smiled...and stared...
Then she cried again and said through her tears, "This is so beautiful...I had no idea....This is so sweet..." all while sobbing...
I told Sheri that this gift was a gift that was only meant to be full of LOVE. I told her that there were 3 other anonymous angels that were all a part of this gift, and that they wanted to remain anonymous (as did I, but KNEW this gift needed to come with some explaining too...), but that we all felt and prayed that this gift would be a gift that would bring feelings of peace and hope into her life everyday. And that instead of trying to wonder or "figure out" who the anonymous angels were, that she could basically walk everywhere with her head held high and think that any one of the people that she passes everyday could be her "anonymous angels." So that is what Sheri is going to do, and hopefully will ALWAYS feel that love.
Sheri was in awe of the precise details from the artists hand around Dave's eyes, and was in love with how perfectly she portrayed Dave...it was perfect..."This is Dave.Those are his eyes!"
When Dave passed away, his eyes were donated to another person with an amazing story, and Sheri always knew that Dave's eyes were being used for good, but it was still a reality to her when she had her last visual impression of Dave in his casket that that was not "Dave", and those were not "his" eyes.
I didn't realize that Sheri was feeling this way until I had given her this picture, and now it was such a positive thing for her to have yet another chance to "see" Dave looking so happy and so much like himself, and now she is having yet another opportunity to "see" him and remember him the way he really was...happy and smiling. Sheri commented on how talented the artist was and how she loved the tiny little lines around Dave's eyes just like she remembered them. ..also his hair! She loved the hair and how perfectly it looked like Dave.
I loved watching Sheri as she was saying something and then she would just stop...and be lost in looking at the picture...she stared at it the entire ride home and had a sweet smile on the corners of her face.
“This makes me feel happy.” she would say staring at the picture...
“Please tell those anonymous angels that I love them.”
“Ryan needs this picture!” (And Mitch and Nick and ....)
“This will make Shirley so happy.”....
Sheri made sweet comments the whole ride home and I knew that with everything she was saying, she was happy with the gift, and it seemed that her excitement for wanting to share it with her family was proof that it was already bringing the peace and hope that we desperately were hoping and praying it would.
I love Sheri so much.
She is really like a sister to me.
I feel like we have been through so much together, and that through the good and bad times we have been there for and leaned on each other. I am so grateful for angels in my life, both those that I can see, and those that I cannot. I am grateful for the sacrifice and Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ and that through Him and Because of Him, we will all have a chance to one day be reunited with the loved ones that we have lost for a time...
I also look forward to the future with faith and excitement for more good things and good gifts to come.
