Gerry Fought the Good Fight

The day after we returned from St. George, Gerry told us that she was done.

No more treatments, no more medications. She was done.

Laura called hospice and they promptly brought a hospital bed that we could set up in the family room where there would be room enough for all of the family to come and visit and to be able to still be together. I felt prompted very strongly by the Spirit that this was where I needed to be able to step up and help out. So, I would take my turn daily coming and sitting with Gerry, trying to be a help to her and to Jim, and to the rest of the family in case she needed anything at all. Most days were quite long and hard on our hearts, but we tried to find ways to talk, make her smile, and have conversations with each other that she could sit and listen to, even if she didn't really feel like chiming in.

One day I felt prompted to get out all of her race medals and hiking books and reminisce with her and let her tell us about her memories. I read her journal entries to her and she would smile at certain times. It made me happy to think that she was able to have a few moments that were happy in a time where most everything was so hard.

Gerry had 47 medals from all of the races that she ran in, all of which she had acquired between the ages of 60 and 70! I feel like that is SO impressive.

One day when I arrived, I found the sweetest notes "heart attacked" to the front door..

...both inside and outside the glass...

We were able to have a family meeting where we discussed with Gerry what she wanted to happen for her funeral. It was a conversation that  I had never been a part of before with someone getting ready to pass on, but in true Trickett fashion, everyone found ways to smile, crack jokes, and do their best to move forward with this challenge that we were all facing.

There were many tender moments that I can't list them all, but I genuinely felt a tangible, thick feeling of love surrounding Gerry, and filling the house, especially at tender moments such as these where Jim would pay such focused attention to the love of his life...his sweetheart. My heart hurt the most for him because even though we would all miss Gerry so much, none of us were losing a spouse like he was... 

I'm so grateful for the plan of salvation and that I know that these two will one day be able to see each other again, and never again to be separated. 

One tender mercy of this time for us, was that covid cases were high at the schools, and so our school went to online learning for a 10 day period. During this time, I brought Kesslyn with me to grandpa's house where she could be a little ray of sunshine in the house, bringing love, affection, giggles, and a sweetness that helped all of the aching hearts...especially grandpa's.

They played games, did puzzles, and crafted together...

Kesslyn's sign said "Mom"

Grandpa's sign said "Wife" :)

People brought flowers and treats and meals, and anything else that they thought would help Gerry and Jim to feel loved.

We helped Jim go through the house and clean things out. We found soooo many treasures...

Not only did Kesslyn not want Grandma to die, she did not want to leave Peeve either. ;)

Kesslyn and Grandpa even made sugar cookies together. I love all of the sweet moments that were woven into the hard days of the last of Gerry's life.

To me, these little moments are FULL of love.

One day during this time, Kesslyn brought a picture of the temple home from primary. When I saw it on the kitchen counter I picked it up and instantly received an enveloping embrace full of love from the Spirit. I KNOW THAT OUR FAMILY IS FOREVER.

I love that seeing this picture reminded me of this precious truth right when I needed it most.

As much as I was so grateful to be able to be a part of helping to care for my sweet mother in law during her last days on earth, when she was unable to care for herself, it was also an extremely difficult time emotionally. I felt carried by the spirit most of the days, and some days I felt sad and heavy for my family and all of these people I love. It's so hard to see the ones you love have to go through hard things. But I know that it is all a part of Heavenly Father's plan, and that we will all be stronger and closer to Him and to each other because of it.

Although most days I would choose to be at Jim and Gerry's house, there was one day that both of my sister in laws could be there together to help and so they told me to stay home that day and take care of whatever was needed. I knew instantly what I would be using my time for that day.

I went to the temple.

An interesting thing happened to me in the temple that day. 

Of course I felt surrounded by peace and the Spirit, but at the end of the endowment session, they needed one extra sister to come and be a part of the prayer circle. I volunteered and stood up and joined the circle. No sooner did I close my eyes, than the Spirit carried my mind back to Gerry, and I pictured her being picked up out of her sick bed, and tenderly being layed on the alter. My cheeks became wet with tears as I felt a new appreciation and love for the work that goes on inside the temple. As they reminded us of "all those who are sick or otherwise afflicted" and they placed the names of those persons upon the alter as we prayed in faith for them, I felt so much love as I knew that saints everywhere were also praying in faith for our family. It was a beautiful message from my Heavenly Father that day and my testimony of the temple was once again strengthened. 

After the kids got home from school I knew what else I would do with my day. I would take them out to the movies for a date and some time with their mom, who they knew was gone a lot right now because I was doing what was most important at that time. They are such good kids and I love them so much.

There were also days when we were caring for Gerry that I literally felt like we were participating in such a sacred work. Being able to find a way to create a warm shampoo and scalp massage for Gerry was so important. We wanted her to feel as good and as clean as possible, and as her circumstances would allow. It was an honor to work side by side with my sisters in this important and sacred work.

I remember specifically on the day after we had given Gerry her last bath, she looked so beautiful and even had rosy cheeks...she seemed at peace, and then in true Trickett fashion, she yelled,

 "They are trying to kill me!!!" We all laughed out loud because it was so funny. :)

We love you Gerry.

So much!

Gerry fought the good fight and quietly passed away on February 2, 2022, one month exactly from getting home from our St. George trip.

After all of the emotion and tears and heartache of the final day, we were comforted by being surrounded by those we love most. 

We will continue to move onward and upward in loving, lifting, and supporting one another that we may make it to the end together. After all, our loved ones are there waiting for us, right?

 

The Last Day in St. George

New Year's Day found Gerry not doing well, and so she had to go to the emergency room in St. George to have a platelet transfusion. We had previously bought movie tickets for everyone to go and see Encanto together that day, so those that could go still went, while a few others stayed behind.

I also remember Laura and I trying to find a comfortable and convincing way to get Gerry into the shower to get cleaned up. So, we put a chair in the shower, I gave Laura my swimming suit, we turned on the shower as hot as it would go so that the room would be nice and warm and steamy, and we even put her clothes and towel in the dryer so that when she got out, she could have those warm clothes to put on. Laura helped shower her mom while in my swim suit, and I took care of having the warm clothes ready for her just at the right minute. This simple act of service left a big impression on my heart. It was very tender and a true act of love.

We had a big party out in the pool late into the night, and then marveled at the snow capped mountain as we drove home the very next day. It was the first time I had ever seen snow in St. George, and the last time we would be there with Gerry.

Trickett Family Photo ~ New Year's Eve 2021

On December 31st 2021, the Trickett family gathered at Dixie Rock in St. George for one last family photograph with their mother, grandmother, great grandmother, and wife. This was such a bittersweet day...so grateful for Amber Wallis who was able to take these priceless photos, and also very somber as we all knew this would be our last one with Gerry. Everyone was there except for Ginger's husband Brent, Cory's wife Melody, and our son Dallin who is on his mission in Brazil. (We did get him in the photo though by holding up his 8 x10 picture. ;)

I was privileged to be the one to do Gerry's hair and make up.

I would like to share a little miracle that happened for us while we took the pictures too.

I remember talking with Gerry and asking her what the one thing was that she would like to do if she could, and she said that she wished she could go on a hike. As we walked up to the picture spot we told her we were taking her on a "hike." 

She seemed pleased with that.

Also, it was a cloudy, rainy time the entire time we were in St. George, but as we pulled up to get our pictures taken, the sun came out and stayed the entire time we were getting our pictures taken. I remember seeing the drops begin to fall on the windshield as we drove away when the pictures were done. We also found the word "mom" graffitied on the rock on the far right upper side, but only after we printed the family photo in a large size.

These were just a few of the the tender mercies or little miracles that we experienced during this difficult time with Gerry. I felt like Heavenly Father was letting us know how much He loves us and that He was very aware of what we were doing and what we were going through.

Later that evening we had a New Year's Eve party full of food, games, and family fun in typical Trickett fashion. ;) Lots of laughing and hugging and laughing...everyone trying their best to soak up as many happy moments as they could. 

It was SO GOOD to be TOGETHER.