Mama's Boy

63 days ago, when Gavin began his "preschool countdown," I knew he felt like the day was never going to arrive. Let's face it, when you are 4 and so excited about something, even a few days can feel like forever! But, if you jump inside the heart and mind of the mother of that 4 year old, well now - that is a different story. I can vividly remember the days when Gavin was my tiny little screamer - for 8 months straight! :) How quickly time has passed from when he could only kick and scream, to now where he can laugh and run and play and tell me that I am "the first best mom in the high wide world!":)

The morning of Gavin's first day of preschool was so cute to me. He jumped out of bed immediately and got dressed as quick as he could while the whole time repeating the phrase, "I can't believe I'm finally going to school! I can't believe I'm finally going to school!" As soon as he went upstairs, he quickly found his back pack and wore it all through scriptures and breakfast. (Even though there was still 2 hours before he would have to leave!) Clint cupped his face in his hands and said, "I'm so proud of you little buddy! You're finally going to school! Next thing you know you'll be shaving!" We all giggled a bit over that one, but at the same time I felt a tiny crack in my heart. The statement was humorous yes, but at the same time, all too true. I can see already just how quickly time passes, and I feel like I am running out of time. I need to be sure that the things that I am spending my time and energy on will be things that will leave a lasting impression for good on my children. -When it was finally time for school, we had decided that all of the kids and the moms in our neighborhood would meet at our house to take pictures of the big day. When Gavin saw all of his friends pull up and jump out of their cars he said, "Oh mom! They all know it's the first day of school!" (The fun thing about this is that 5 little friends from Gavin's primary class are all going to the same preschool so he gets to be with all of his little friends!) As we lined up the group and took pictures, all of the little sisters of the preschoolers began bawling as if to say, "Oh don't leave us big brothers!" It was hilarious - the big brothers giddy with excitement and the little sisters so emotional and all upset. After I dropped Gavin off at the school and drove away, my heart felt a little ache and I was suddenly imagining him graduating from high school or college! When he finally came home, he ran in the door and gave me the biggest grin and tackled me with the biggest hug and shouted, "I LOVE SCHOOL!" I of course was anxious to hear all of the details and so when I asked him what he got to do at school he simply said, "Oh, I can't remember!" I laughed and thought to myself, "See? There you have it. Straight from the mouth of an honest little 4 year old. He doesn't care about all of the little details like I do. He only cares about the feeling that he has inside." That left a major impression on me. My children may not remember all of the things I say to them or they may not remember all of the things that I try to teach them, but they will remember how they felt while they were here. They will remember how they felt when they were with their family and especially with their mom and dad. Do they feel loved? Do they feel special and important? Do they feel appreciated and accepted? Do they feel the nurturing love of our Heavenly Father and the warmth and presence of the Spirit in our home? Even though there will be days where I may feel like "bawling and screaming" because I don't want my children to grow up too fast, I feel very motivated to press forward with faith and commit myself to offering my whole heart and all of the love that a mother can give to the most important little people in the "high wide world!"