The "Heart" of an Angel

I am pretty sure that I know just about everything that there is to know about one of Heavenly Father's littlest angels. Her name is Kambriella Noel. Her favorite people are Dada and Mama. She loves books, bracelets, necklaces and balls. She loves babies, singing, dancing, and shoes. She loves doggies, kitties, balloons, and chocolate milk. And she delivers more laughter and smiles to our family than all of the toys from Santa on Christmas Eve!

One year ago on October 5th, this little angel had to under go open heart surgery at Primary Children's hospital. One year ago, I held that precious angel and wondered if I would ever get to hold her again. I remember feeling worried and scared, and then comforted all at the same time. I have a vivid picture in my mind of Kambriella peering over the shoulder of the doctor as he cuddled her and walked down the hall that had a bold yellow line that we were not aloud to cross. She looked so tiny in her hospital gown and I wanted to run after her and hold her, but I knew that this "hard thing" would be good for her. I guess that is kind of how life is for all of us. Heavenly Father sent us here and probably wanted so badly to run after us and hold us, but He knew that this earthly experience, this "hard thing," would be good for us. I have learned that even though I don't necessarily like doing hard things, that I can still do them. Even though Kambriella's heart surgery was scary at best, just look at this little angel now. Look at how much she has grown and what a beautiful little girl she is turning out to be! This trial has made her strong and part of who she is today. It has also made me a stronger person and so much more appreciative of all of the angels in my life. As I direct my thoughts to the hope of the future, I will ever be grateful that I still get to hold on to this precious child. For I am anxious to see what lies ahead as more of the characteristic traits develop from one of Heavenly Father's littlest angels.

5 Years From Now...

I love Autumn time for so many countless reasons. The colors of the leaves are in their fullest brilliance, the temperature starts it's gradual decline, and some of the most important words ever to be spoken, etch themselves into the walls of our homes. As the General Conference of the church is broadcast throughout the world, the tender, sweet, and inspiring messages are also ever so close to home. Not only is the council that is given to each of us so definitely all inclusive, but also so very personal in so many different ways. With paper and pen in hand, I opened my heart and mind to the words that a loving Heavenly Father was sending to ME. There are always so many wonderful messages that it is like a feast for the soul. And lucky for us, we live in a day and age where we can read and re-read those inspired words and then the "feast" becomes a "buffet" where we can "go back " as many times as we would like and then truly "be filled."
So, as I listened to 5 sessions of conference (including the General Relief Society Broadcast), I learned many great lessons. I learned a lot of our great worth as individuals. I learned a lot about charity and service. I learned that we should always make sure that we are looking out of "clean windows" and not judging others. :) I learned about faith and prayer and endurance and obedience and gratitude... and the list goes on and on. But I asked myself this question, and it was amazing the answer that I gave: "What was the number one most important thing that you learned this conference that you can use today to help your family right now?" Well, with such a smorgasbord of spiritual food, the one thing that touched me greatly came through the talk given by Mary N. Cook. She related the story of her new grand-daughter and how her daughter felt so driven to "begin now" teaching little Ruby the things that she needed to know to become a virtuous young woman someday. I likewise felt those inspired words pierce my soul with such great force that I knew that this was what I needed to do. Sister Cook said, "Begin now teaching your children what you would like them to know 5 years from now." As I sat and pondered on this, I began to see such great wisdom in this council. In 5 years from now Kierra will be almost 18 years old! Carew will be right behind her - preparing for a mission, Dallin will almost be a teenager, Gavin will be 10 and Kambriella 6! So, should I wait until then to begin trying to teach them what they will need to know to be happy? Or should I begin now and prepare them for the joys and trials that indefinitely lie ahead? If I want my children to dress modestly, love the scriptures, live honestly, and go to their Heavenly Father in prayer with all of life's questions, should we begin by doing these things now? YES! And although I have always tried to make these things a priority, I now have a renewed sense of determination to do better and be better because I know it will benefit the lives of the people that I love the most. I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father, a loving prophet, and the spirit that can whisper to each of us individually of what we need in our lives right NOW.

The Symbols of My Birthday

As a mother, I by no means "lay out a wish list" of all of the things that I want for my birthday, but it is fun to give a few suggestions when the kids come up and ask, "Hey Mom, what do you want for your birthday?" Some of my replies I gave with a grin just in case Clint was listening or overhearing our conversations :) - "Oh a new diamond ring or some new running shoes would be nice! -Or how about an hour long back massage? -Or someone to do the dishes without being asked? -Or how about someone could brush my hair or do the laundry for me? :)" Those are some of the things that I think every mother would like and that kids are very capable of giving. But all of those things are NOT what I got for my birthday. - I actually felt kind of spoiled with the gifts I was given because, well, moms just really don't expect a whole lot! As I thought of all of the gifts that I had received, I couldn't help but reflect on ALL of the gifts that I have been given in my life. I remember when I was young dreaming about growing up and finding "Mr. Right," getting married in the temple, and having a family all of my own. Now just look at me! 5 kids later and 1 Mr. Right! (Well, at least I let him THINK that he's right - but we know who really wears the pants in the family - Mrs. Right - RIGHT? :)

Well, on to the symbols of my birthday. Each gift that was given to me represents in my mind something greater than I'm sure was ever intended, but I feel that if I can see all things as a means to learn and grow, then I can hopefully pass on something more to my family. I received a new phone AND phone calls from family and friends, representing the gift of love. I actually told my mom that when we grow up we don't even need birthday presents. We just need to know that people love us! I also received flowers and a necklace engraved with the saying, "Dear friends are always close to the heart" - representing the gift of friendship. I also received chocolate, dark chocolate, chocolate with caramel, Reese's peanut butter cups with chocolate, a cute Halloween bowl filled with Chocolate Avalanche popcorn, and a Neapolitan and chocolate birthday cake, ALL representing the gift of, well,.......Chocolate!:) I also got a really cute hat that reminds me to keep my head on straight! -A lunch date with Mr.Right and 2 beautiful hand made watches representing the gift of time, precious time. I got a cute decoration for my entry way that says "Blessings" -that reminds me daily to count them every one! And last but not least was my favorite gift of all. It didn't come wrapped in any pretty paper and it wasn't tied up with any fancy bows. It came from my sweet little Dallin with his eyes full of excitement and anticipation to give it to me. He couldn't wait until the evening for me to open it with the rest of the presents that I had set out on the table. He had asked me quite a few times throughout the day, "Mom, do you want me to give you your present now?" I could really tell on the last time he asked me that I was getting my present right then and there whether I wanted to wait for the whole family or not! As I leaned in close to him, he smiled with both of his hands behind his back and said, "Happy Birthday Mom!" He quickly pulled out from behind him a small plastic compass and said, "It's for you Mom, so you can find your way home!" Something in my heart immediately swelled up - you know -that thing that is directly connected to the tear ducts? I thought to myself, "What a sweet little boy! He doesn't ever want to lose me!" And because of eternal families, he never will have to! I don't ever want to lose my way - and I think I'll always be able to find my way to 11903 Buckwheat Way, but I truly need continual guidance, a "compass" if you will - to find my way back to my heavenly home. My compass in life is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Without it, I would be nothing, and with it, I can accomplish anything. I am eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father who gives us all good gifts, and I am thankful for Dallin - and all of my family and friends who are continually helping me to find my way home.

Lions and Tigers, and a Giraffe Cake? Oh My!

From the moment that Gavin told me that he wanted an "Animal monster truck" birthday party with a "giraffe" for his cake - I KNEW that I was in trouble! I simply told Gavin, "I don't think I've ever heard of an animal monster truck party before." Gavin's reply was quick and to the point. "Mom" he said, "I just want to have the animals at my party and then you buy me monster trucks for my presents!" I was actually a bit relieved after the clarification! I thought to myself, "This party shouldn't be too hard -everything but the cake that is!" So, I began planning and pulled off in my mind what was a "semi-giraffe looking" shaped cake. I made it the night before his birthday after he had already gone to bed so that when he woke up it would be a surprise. The surprise ended up being more for me because when I came home from my aerobics class the next morning, I found Gavin already awake, dressed, hovering, and gazing dreamily at his beloved giraffe cake. I knew right then and there that in spite of all of the worrying that went on over my cake decorating frailties, that in his eyes I would still be the reigning "1st best mom in the high wide world!"
Gavin's birthday turned out to be a really fun day for both Gavin and all of the rest of the family. He got to take cup cakes to preschool, have McDonald's for lunch (which really means that he got a new toy for lunch;), and have a party with some of his friends and siblings. We started out with an animal "cape" for each child. We had everything from white tigers to pink zebras. And of course since this was an animal party, we played all kinds of animal games. We played "Moo -sical" chairs, Octopus tag, Puppy chow relay races, Lion-Lion- Tiger (Like Duck-Duck-Goose), and lots of other animal games. We even ended up with the biggest "Doggie" pile I've ever seen! And fortunately for everyone, no one got hurt, including the littlest boy Alex who somehow ended up on the bottom of the pile! After all of that "horsing around," we layed down in the grass and watched the clouds float by while we took a breather and tried to see what animal shapes we could find. After opening presents, blowing out candles, and filling up on thirds of cake and ice-cream, the friends all went home and we took Gavin to the restaurant of his choice for dinner - the place where Gavin says you can "pick your own food!" You guessed it - Good old Chuck-A-Rama! It was a fun filled day and of course when Gavin went to bed that night we recounted all of his "favorites" from the day, and then he politely began to tell me how excited he is for his next birthday! Thank goodness we have about another year to think about it!:)

Trickett's Country Store

One of my favorite things to do is to create. Whether it's creating a cozy place in our home or putting a smile on someones face, creating something beautiful brings a sense of joy and satisfaction unlike any other. When we first moved here 2 years ago, (that went by fast!) I fell in love with the country charm that this home already had, but I have also had a fun time envisioning things that I would like to do to make it really feel like "home."
I have decided that I'm a really lucky girl! Not only do I have a really great time being creative, but I also have a husband who is kind enough to humor me and also helps me out on the construction end. He is such a trooper! Clint never seems too concerned when I tell him about my latest and greatest "big ideas." (And if he really is concerned, he's great at not showing it!) -Whether it's some bold red paint, a door hung in the stairway on a wall, building a tiki hut for Carew, or a "country store" in our kitchen, Clint is always such a good sport to go along with me and my "big ideas.":) It's funny to me how my projects have become not only a means to create and beautify, but also a sort of challenge to see just how creative I can be while spending as little money as possible. You know that feeling of getting that really great buy - so not only is it going to be beautiful, but you managed to save a bundle in the process! That was kind of how this project turned out. Between the wallpaper, lights, shelving, shudders, brick trim and roof, I think the grand total was about $62. That of course does not include the cute candy bins. (Come on now, I'm doing the best I can!:) Anyway, it sure is fun to do, and to see the finished product is even better! This is the pantry/fridge area in our kitchen and what we now call the "country store." Complete with shudders, a brick roof and trim, a rooster bell, produce baskets, and bulk candy bins with real scoops! It is so much fun that now when we say we need to "run to the store," Clint can actually run there and back without even breaking a sweat!:)

Mama's Boy

63 days ago, when Gavin began his "preschool countdown," I knew he felt like the day was never going to arrive. Let's face it, when you are 4 and so excited about something, even a few days can feel like forever! But, if you jump inside the heart and mind of the mother of that 4 year old, well now - that is a different story. I can vividly remember the days when Gavin was my tiny little screamer - for 8 months straight! :) How quickly time has passed from when he could only kick and scream, to now where he can laugh and run and play and tell me that I am "the first best mom in the high wide world!":)

The morning of Gavin's first day of preschool was so cute to me. He jumped out of bed immediately and got dressed as quick as he could while the whole time repeating the phrase, "I can't believe I'm finally going to school! I can't believe I'm finally going to school!" As soon as he went upstairs, he quickly found his back pack and wore it all through scriptures and breakfast. (Even though there was still 2 hours before he would have to leave!) Clint cupped his face in his hands and said, "I'm so proud of you little buddy! You're finally going to school! Next thing you know you'll be shaving!" We all giggled a bit over that one, but at the same time I felt a tiny crack in my heart. The statement was humorous yes, but at the same time, all too true. I can see already just how quickly time passes, and I feel like I am running out of time. I need to be sure that the things that I am spending my time and energy on will be things that will leave a lasting impression for good on my children. -When it was finally time for school, we had decided that all of the kids and the moms in our neighborhood would meet at our house to take pictures of the big day. When Gavin saw all of his friends pull up and jump out of their cars he said, "Oh mom! They all know it's the first day of school!" (The fun thing about this is that 5 little friends from Gavin's primary class are all going to the same preschool so he gets to be with all of his little friends!) As we lined up the group and took pictures, all of the little sisters of the preschoolers began bawling as if to say, "Oh don't leave us big brothers!" It was hilarious - the big brothers giddy with excitement and the little sisters so emotional and all upset. After I dropped Gavin off at the school and drove away, my heart felt a little ache and I was suddenly imagining him graduating from high school or college! When he finally came home, he ran in the door and gave me the biggest grin and tackled me with the biggest hug and shouted, "I LOVE SCHOOL!" I of course was anxious to hear all of the details and so when I asked him what he got to do at school he simply said, "Oh, I can't remember!" I laughed and thought to myself, "See? There you have it. Straight from the mouth of an honest little 4 year old. He doesn't care about all of the little details like I do. He only cares about the feeling that he has inside." That left a major impression on me. My children may not remember all of the things I say to them or they may not remember all of the things that I try to teach them, but they will remember how they felt while they were here. They will remember how they felt when they were with their family and especially with their mom and dad. Do they feel loved? Do they feel special and important? Do they feel appreciated and accepted? Do they feel the nurturing love of our Heavenly Father and the warmth and presence of the Spirit in our home? Even though there will be days where I may feel like "bawling and screaming" because I don't want my children to grow up too fast, I feel very motivated to press forward with faith and commit myself to offering my whole heart and all of the love that a mother can give to the most important little people in the "high wide world!"

For the Beauty of the Stars

"Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight -
I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.
That my dear, sweet daughter will hold on tight,
to the memory of cuddling her mother under the pale moonlight."

This particular morning started out like that of any other. I laced up my running shoes and headed out for a morning run. As usual, my thoughts were everywhere, flowing from one thought to the next almost as quickly as the steps I was taking. For me, my running has become a very spiritual time. A time to ponder on the things that matter most to me in my life - my family, my friends, my calling as a mother, my testimony, things I need to improve on, etc...
It seems to me that it never fails, that my thoughts always end up in gratitude for the abundance of beauty that is all around me. As I breathe the fresh air and feel the wind in my face, Heavenly Father's masterpiece of creations is enveloping and beautiful. Ironically, it's this deep beauty and not the run that ends up taking my breath away...
So, as I rounded the last bend and approached my home, my view went from the ground in front of me where my next step would be, to a blanket of stars twinkling high in the sky, and a sliver of a moon that seemed so perfectly etched into a puzzle of diamonds. It was that amazing. I wanted to capture the feeling of that moment so I went and gathered a few comfy blankets and pillows and layed them out in the middle of the driveway. I went inside and woke Kierra and asked her if she wanted to come out and look at the stars with me. Her response was immediate and as excited as mine. - I love that she is so much like me. She appreciates and loves so many of the simple things in life. After all, how many crazy girls do you know who will lay out in the middle of a hard driveway at a quarter to six in the morning, just to "take in the view"and "bask in the beauty of a still morning sky?"
The air was cool on our faces but our souls were warm with a love that was sent down from Heavenly Father that morning. We layed there and talked of wishes and dreams, and shared thoughts and hopes of things yet to come. We warmed our hands with giant mugs of hot chocolate (Raspberry cheesecake! It was divine!:)We closed our eyes and listened to the silence, and then marveled at the sight when we opened our eyes and saw how quickly the light was coming. Then we giggled at ourselves as a lady passed by with a half of a grin and one eyebrow raised!
As we realized that the morning was growing late and it was time to go back inside, I will never forget the words Kierra said. "I love my mommy though, I want to stay with her forever."
So far in my life I have seen many beautiful things, but the twinkle in my daughter's eye that morning truly out-shined the diamonds in the sky.